


Alstroemeria

by ilupant



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Gardens & Gardening, Light Angst, M/M, Other, Pining, SE Saeran technically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:40:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29169747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilupant/pseuds/ilupant
Summary: Saeran’s always been an anomaly, and you made it your mission to get to know him. But even once you’d succeeded in that, you found that there was still something missing.(request from Tumblr)
Relationships: Choi Saeran/Main Character, Choi Saeran/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 38





	Alstroemeria

You had quickly learned that getting close to Saeran was no easy task. 

The only thing that you initially had in common was the gardening club. While you weren’t the only members, you were by far the quietest. Considering the rest of the members were all friends who broke away into a group of their own, the two of you were left to work together in a shared silence. It was peaceful enough. Though there was little interaction, there was a quiet agreement that you would tolerate each other. But for you, it went a little bit deeper than that.

You were interested in Saeran far before he was interested in you.

You weren’t quite sure why. He was an interesting person- always quiet, never starting conversations. But it seemed like there was always something going on in his head, a silent whispering of thoughts unknown to the rest of the world. You could see them flickering past his mint eyes, but you couldn’t decipher any of them. It was like you were reading a book in a language you had never encountered before. 

You couldn’t understand him, but you wanted to. So you began to put forth an effort.

You started looking forward to Wednesdays and the after-school gardening club. You would make one or two surface-level comments to Saeran every week, asking questions or making remarks about the plants. Trying to find something interesting to say without being repetitive was difficult, but it felt like a worthy endeavor. Though Saeran was a quiet person, he always graced you with a response. He wasn’t rude or standoffish, nor was he particularly awkward. It didn’t seem like he kept quiet for any other reason than just because he enjoyed the silence.

You didn’t feel like you made much headway until, suddenly, you did. 

You were struggling one day, trying to figure out why one of your plants had been suffering. While you weren’t the world’s best gardener, you considered yourself competent enough that this shouldn’t have been a problem for you. You’d grown tomatoes before, so why did the stalks keep dying?

You walked into the club room that Wednesday, and as soon as your eyes found your plants, a heavy sigh escaped you. You approached the stalk, examining its small, yellowed leaves. They felt slightly stiff beneath your fingertips, and you feared they would crumble if you treated them too roughly. You stood still for a while, analyzing the plant, wracking your brain for a possible solution.

“It’s your soil.”

You turned to Saeran, eyebrows raised ever so slightly. He was looking directly at you, serious as always, and you held his gaze. He had actually spoken to you first.

“What’s wrong with it?” You tried to play it cool with a glance back at your soil.

Saeran approached your plant. He came to a stop beside you and reached out to pinch a bit of the soil between his thumb and forefinger. “It’s sandier than usual,” he told you. “So it’s not retaining water, and your plant isn’t getting enough nutrients.”

You mulled the information over and copied Saeran, pinching some of the soil for yourself. He was right, you realized as you felt the particles between the pads of your fingers. The soil wasn’t sandier by much, but enough that it must have caused an issue.

_ Huh. _ This hadn’t even crossed your mind. You’d been right to assume that Saeran knew what he was doing.

“You’re right,” you continued feeling the slightly gritty soil. “I was wearing gloves. I didn’t even notice.”

You looked back over at Saeran and sent him a smile. “Thanks.”

He nodded at you, and that was that.

From then on, your silent agreement changed. Instead of you talking at Saeran once or twice per meeting, you began to speak with each other more often. What started off as small comments and harmless remarks turned to discussions, and then to occasional banter. You grew a little bit more comfortable with each other, but your curiosity about him only deepened.

Saeran’s quiet disposition hadn’t done him justice. He was surprisingly cynical, and his humour reflected that. You, as someone who didn’t typically take things too personally, didn’t mind the occasional harmless jokes at your expense, and shot them right back. You would earn a smile every so often, and you felt a certain kind of pride that you’d never felt before every time his lips quirked upwards. It was like a tiny victory.

It was like you had made it your mission to get Saeran to smile. And this became easier as time passed and you grew closer. 

The two of you didn’t do too much together outside of school. But you had eventually opted to eating lunch together and occasionally studying in the library. You became increasingly friendly and eventually exchanged phone numbers. You would text each other between school days, and though you expected Saeran to be the type who didn’t text often, he still replied to every one of your haphazard, chaotic messages.

The first time you video called was when you’d had a homework question that couldn’t wait. Saeran walked you through it, as he always did in the library, but instead of hanging up, the two of you had ended up talking for far longer than you’d intended. Time flew away as you chatted about this and that. Saeran didn’t say much, as usual, but it was easy for you to fill the silence. You didn’t notice that it grew dark outside until the exhaustion hit you like a train.

It was fun. Relaxing. And it turned into a habit. You would video chat more often, sharing pieces of your lives outside of school. You met Saeran’s twin brother, who you hadn’t even known existed, and got to see him in a more relaxed environment. Interacting like this introduced you to an entirely new side of Saeran, and you liked that.

You were starting to understand him a bit more as he welcomed you deeper and deeper into his life. Months passed by like this in the blink of an eye, and it eventually hit you that you’d grown considerably closer to Saeran than you’d ever expected. You’d found a sense of camaraderie in each others’ similar demeanors. There was no pressure between either of you, no pretenses to adopt, no expectations to live up to. You could sit together in silence and share each others’ company, and that was more than enough for both of you. The banter was a plus, but not a necessity.

Somehow, it just worked.

So by the time prom came around and school was bustling, you were more than comfortable bringing it up with Saeran. You were sitting together on video call, supposed to be doing homework, but you had been spacing off for quite some time. Eventually, you gave up your school endeavors and looked over at Saeran.

“Are you going?” You asked. “To prom, I mean.”

Immediately, he made a face. Though he had already made his feelings about the matter clear, Saeran reinforced his opinion by speaking. “Of course not. I never have.”

You hummed, propping your elbow onto your desk and resting your chin in your palm. “Neither have I,” you mused. “But it’s my last year. I kind of want to, just so I can say that I did.”

Saeran fiddled with some of his worksheets out of sight of the camera. “Then go.”

The point seemed to have gone right above his head.

You pursed your lips a bit, watching Saeran as he moved around, oblivious to your staring. “Will you go with me?”

Saeran paused, and the rustling stopped. He turned to face you again, eyebrows furrowed. For a second you were confused, unsure as to why he was looking at you like you’d grown three heads. When you noticed the flush spreading across his cheeks, though, you understood.

Your heart kicked into gear, and you sat up straight, waving your hands back and forth. 

“No, not like that,” you insisted, stomach dancing with nerves. “I mean like- as friends. That’s it.”

The air felt suddenly very different. It wasn’t quite tense, but it had somehow gotten heavier. Maybe a little bit more constricting. You seemed to have flustered Saeran as much as he had flustered you. 

“I- I don’t go to those things,” Saeran stammered when he next spoke. Embarrassment clung to you in the form of a warmth spreading across your cheeks.

Your bottom lip disappeared between your teeth as you thought the situation over.

You weren’t sure why it sounded so nice to have him there, but it did. Going somewhere with your best friend was always easier than going alone, especially since the two of you were hardly social butterflies. You did things together all of the time. Why did this have to be any different? It was only weird if you made it weird, right?

But more than that, this was just Saeran. Flustered though you may be, he was still someone who brought you immense comfort _. _ Something like prom wouldn’t feel so intimidating and foreign if he were to go with you. Saeran was your best friend. Why did it have to be strange?

Your mind was set. You didn’t want to give this up.

“Yeah, neither do I,” you said. “But it’s our last chance, you know? And going together could be fun. It’s more to hang out than to dance. And you can’t tell me you have other plans, because I know for a fact that you don’t.”

Saeran frowned directly at the camera in response to your quip. “And what makes you think that I’ll spend what little free time I have with you?”

You could tell that he didn’t feel as malicious as he sounded. You pushed a little bit more.

“Because you love me and you’d do anything for me?” You tried. “ _ Please _ , Saeran. It’ll be fun. I promise. And if it’s not, we can leave whenever.”

Saeran eyed you for a little bit longer, and it was quiet for a few seconds. You could tell that he was thinking hard, eyebrows pushed into a frown. 

Finally, he relented.

“Fine.”

You couldn’t explain why your heart jumped the way that it did when Saeran agreed, but it did. 

You were on cloud nine for quite some time afterward. You found yourself looking forward to prom for the first time in your school career, and though you could tell Saeran didn’t really want to go, he had still relented for you. And he reminded you of that every chance that he could get, throwing the occasional surly remark your way.

But that was fine. It didn’t dampen your spirit.

The days passed you by as usual. Gardening club on Wednesdays, eating lunch together, talking on the phone, video calling, and studying in the library. Every so often you’d meet up for ice cream and talk for a little while, wandering down the streets and stopping at parks. It was as comfortable as always. Nothing had changed. Everything was the same.

Though, by the time prom rolled around, your excitement had bundled itself up into nerves, buzzing around in your stomach like a colony of bees. You didn’t dress up quite as much as most of your schoolmates did, but you had put a bit more effort into yourself than you usually would. Saeran had done the same, at your insistence. A white button-up shirt and dark pants were more than fine with you.

If you’d both dressed up too much more, it would have felt like a date- and that wasn’t what this was. 

Still, when you met up with Saeran in front of the school, you still found that your stomach had gone topsy-turvy inside of you. You couldn’t deny that he looked good. Cherry-red curls contrasted with his pale shirt and teal eyes, curling around his ears and jutting out here and there in a way that was, to you, rather charming. Saeran made it look easy. He made it look effortless. And when he met your eyes and gave you a smile, a privilege not awarded to many, you felt your spirits lift.

Why were you so nervous, anyways? This was Saeran. Your best friend. You’d been close for months. There wasn’t any reason to make things weird now.

_ Stop thinking so much. _

“Hey,” you approached him with a small smile. “You look good.”

Saeran nodded. It was a bit hard to tell in the dim lighting of a nearby streetlight, but his cheeks seemed to have flushed slightly. “Yeah. You do, too.”

Somehow, standing beneath the moonlight, everything felt good.

“Let’s go, then,” you began to walk towards the school’s front doors, and Saeran took his usual spot beside you. Somehow, it felt a little bit different to be side-by-side with him on a night like this, both of you slightly dressed up. The ambiance of the school was different tonight, and you were both feeling the effects of it. You didn’t share a single word as you made your way inside, showing your school IDs to the teachers to gain entry. 

As you neared the school’s gym, where the dance was being held, you slowed down and came to an eventual stop. Your heart was thrumming in your chest, nerves beginning to buzz as you became suddenly aware of the throngs of people around you. 

It was all becoming less and less enticing by the minute. You hadn’t thought about why you never came to these events in the heat of your excitement, but the idea of being stuck in an enclosed space with so many people made you feel incredibly anxious. 

You didn’t want to go inside.

Saeran stopped and turned to you, quiet for a second, before he seemed to figure out what was going on. He made his way toward you and put a hand on your shoulder gently. Instead of bringing you comfort the reminder of his presence only made you feel guilty.

You had convinced Saeran to come, and now you were the one getting cold feet. The slowly brewing conflict within you must have been visible enough, because it didn’t take long for Saeran to speak up.

“Want to go somewhere else?” 

You met his eyes before looking away again, responding with a nod. 

Saeran didn’t say anything else. He urged you to turn around, gently taking your hand and leading you back in the direction that you’d come from. You didn’t say anything during your journey, even when Saeran passed the front door and ventured further into the school. He led you into the back of the building, and you came across a familiar door. You couldn’t help the slight quirking of your lips as you entered the clubroom you’d come to love so much. 

Luckily for the two of you, the door to the garden was unlocked. Immediately, you were hit with the familiar smell of soil, greenery, and a variety of blooming flowers. The air was cool but not chilly, and it was so quiet that you felt your shoulders beginning to relax. The two of you stood in silence as usual, still holding hands, and you felt some of your anxiety beginning to ebb away.

Your guilt remained, though, and you didn’t want to stay quiet about it for any longer.

“Sorry,” you eventually broke the silence, pulling your hand away. “I was the one who wanted you to come here, but I ended up chickening out.”

Saeran finally looked down at you. “It’s fine,” he told you. “I didn’t really want to go in there, anyways. This is better.”

You looked back up at Saeran. There was something remarkably gentle about the way he spoke to you and looked at you. It was so very different from when you’d first met.

It hit you just how much things had changed over the last few months.

At the beginning of the school year, you’d been around Saeran out of convenience. He didn’t speak to you unless you spoke first, and he hardly looked at you. You’d felt slightly intimidated by him, but there was something enticing about him that drew you in. You were strangers.

Now, though, he was willing to force himself to go to a school dance just for you. Saeran was willing to surround himself with strangers at a prom he didn’t care for only because you’d asked him to, and the implications of that were profound. You would never have expected somebody like him, who’d been so deadpan only months ago, to put himself in a situation like this for you. The thought made your chest feel warm. 

Yes, things had truly changed. 

You continued to take Saeran in. His hair curled around the apples of his cheeks gently, sometimes shifting around when gentle breezes would run their fingers through the rubied strands. You could see his eyes darting about as he looked from plant to plant, analyzing them, and your chest filled with fondness.

How had you become friends with someone like Saeran? How had you gone from not saying a word to each other to calling daily and spending so much time together? 

You weren’t comfortable around anyone else the way you were when you were with Saeran. There was nobody else that you could talk to for so long without getting so burnt out that you needed to retreat. He was an exception to every single rule you had for the people around you. He was an anomaly, and though you spent every day with him, you found that you were always desperate to know more. 

You wanted to be closer, and you weren’t sure how you felt about that. It didn’t make much sense.

_ He  _ didn’t make much sense. 

Saeran’s eyes flickered back towards you, catching you in the middle of your staring. He raised an eyebrow in a silent question, and you averted your gaze for a few seconds, wringing your hands together, before you looked back at him.

“Why are you my friend?” The insecurity you felt seemed to bleed into your voice slightly. You didn’t usually sound this meek. But for some reason, you felt small beneath the starry sky.

Saeran’s quirked eyebrow fell. He seemed to sober slightly at your question, and you could see him deliberating, trying to find an answer he deemed good enough.

“I don’t really know,” he responded. “But does there have to be a reason?”

How very like Saeran. 

He wasn’t thoughtless, but he didn’t sugarcoat things around you, either. He had this peculiar way of trying to comfort you, and it usually worked. 

Tonight, however, was proving to be an anomaly.

“I guess not,” you clasped your hands in front of you. “But I just can’t imagine how you would want to spend time with someone like me. Especially after tonight.”

Saeran regarded you silently, demeanor unreadable. His eyes seemed to pierce directly into yours, his gaze sharper than before. You found yourself feeling somewhat exposed under his scrutiny, and you wondered what it was that he saw. 

“You’re being too hard on yourself. You didn’t do anything wrong,” he sounded a bit more firm this time. “I’d rather be out here with you than in there, anyway.”

You didn’t say anything, still ruminating. You felt unusually despondent, your mouth pressed into a thin line. Thoughts were somersaulting through your head, one after another, and though you could tell that Saeran was trying to comfort you, it didn’t seem to be working as well as usual.

Saeran seemed to catch on to that. He always did.

“Listen,” he tried again. “I don’t need a reason to like you. I just do. You’re comfortable to be around and I enjoy spending time with you. It doesn’t need to be any more complicated than that.”

You looked back up at Saeran, and you knew that he was telling the truth. He was right- It didn’t need to be more complicated than that. 

And yet, it somehow was more complicated. Much more than you’d been ready to deal with. You knew that you had been struggling to understand your relationship with him from the beginning, you just hadn’t wanted to admit it. It was far more perplexing to you than Saeran had ever realized. 

And for a while, you thought that maybe that was for the best.

You hadn’t wanted to admit it to yourself, but the core of the issue had always remained in the back of your head, out of sight but not forgotten. The flip-flopping of your stomach, the haze in your head, and the warmth in your cheeks- it all hinted at the very thing you’d refused to think about since becoming friends with Saeran. The intrigue you’d had for him was far more than curiosity. The time that you liked spending with him was dear to your heart for reasons you kept to yourself. You didn’t think about it. You pushed it away, but it never disappeared.

You knew that you’d liked Saeran. You had known all along.

It was only now that you found yourself ambushed by the thought. It refused to be repressed any longer.

You didn’t say anything to Saeran immediately, but you held his gaze for a little bit longer. The two of you were trying to read each other, and you were both falling short. After a few seconds you unclasped your hands and reached forward to gently take his hand in one of yours. Without a word, Saeran’s fingers gently curled around your palm. The pressure was enough to ground you, and the warmth of his skin felt especially gentle, warding off the cool, nighttime air.

You wondered what he was thinking. You wondered if he’d ever thought the same of you, or if he ever would. You were as frightened now as you’d been in the beginning.

But it had been months of this. Months of you pushing away your feelings and pretending they didn’t exist. Months of you subconsciously pining for your best friend.

Did you really want to do that any longer? Wouldn’t it just be best to get this all out into the open? Rationally, you knew that you couldn’t keep it a secret forever. There was no point to letting all of this fester. But you were frightened, because if you were honest and things went wrong, Saeran wouldn’t be a part of your life anymore.

But you couldn’t wait forever. And Saeran would figure it out sooner or later. You were already being obvious enough.

So you forced yourself to speak again, despite the dryness of your mouth and the feeling of impending doom gripping at your stomach.

“Hey,” you held Saeran’s hand tightly, as if to ensure that he would stay. “Can I tell you something?”

Saeran nodded at you. There was a quiet solemnity to him, but he held your hand firmly. He appeared calm, but you felt the opposite. Your chest was ablaze with anxiety and it took considerable effort for you to find your voice again.

“I’m.. not really sure how to say this,” you began, looking away for a second. “So sorry if it sounds weird. I probably should have prepared a speech or something. But-”

You nearly choked, and had to pause for a minute to steel yourself. 

You could feel the ground beneath your feet, Saeran’s skin against yours, and the gentle breeze of the night. You focused on it for a moment, trying to remind yourself that you were still here, with him, and that if things went wrong, you would be okay.

It might have been a lie, but it worked well enough in the moment. 

“I really like you,” you finally continued. “A lot. More than just as a friend.”

For a second, that was all that you could say.

Saeran didn’t pull his hand away. In the brief second of silence, you looked back up at him. His eyebrows had raised slightly, cheeks tinged pink, but you weren’t sure if that was because of you or a result of the chill in the air.

“I mean- I didn’t really want to tell you. You know, you’re my best friend and all that,” words began to tumble out of your mouth one after the other, desperate to fill the silent gaps between you. “So of course I don’t want to mess anything up. But I don’t want to pressure you either, you know? Don’t feel like you have to say or do anything you don’t want to, because that’s not what I’m trying to do. I just thought that I didn’t want to keep it a secret anymore. I-”

“Hey,” Saeran interrupted you, and your rambling came to an immediate halt. You could feel your face aflame, and your grip on Saeran’s hand had tightened. 

The flush on his cheeks was darker. Did you dare hope that meant what you wanted it to mean? You weren’t sure. But Saeran spoke again before you had the chance to think it over too much more.

“You’re worrying over nothing again,” he said. “I get it. I-”

This time it was Saeran’s turn to pause.

“I feel the same way.”

You didn’t look away from him this time. Your chest felt constricted again, so tightly wound up that it only exacerbated the lump in your throat. There was a strange yearning within you that you couldn’t quite understand, and you found that when you weren’t suppressing the feelings, they felt so much stronger. It was all so sudden that it nearly gave you whiplash.

But this was good. Through the disbelief and the anxiety you felt a wave of relief crash over you, soaking you to the bone. For the first time that night, you felt like you could breathe again.

Without a second thought, your free hand raised up on its own, making its way towards Saeran’s cheek, where it gently rested against his skin. It was warm to the touch, smooth against the pads of your fingers, and as you lightly ran your thumb over the apple of his cheek, you could see his composure beginning to break.

Saeran looked uncharacteristically soft. Unsure. In a way that even you had never seen before. 

You weren’t sure where you’d gotten the courage to be this brazen. But Saeran wasn’t moving away, and that was enough to spur you on.

“Can I?” You asked, your voice flitting into the moonlight.

Saeran’s eyes darted away from yours. His face, rosy beneath the stars, betrayed his feelings. He looked back over at you, though, and nodded.

You could feel your heart thumping against your ribcage, beating it with an unprecedented force.

You took another step towards him, moving so close to that the aroma of the flowers seemed to waft away. You kept your hand on his cheek as you leaned in and gently pressed your lips to his.

Saeran’s free hand moved to your waist and rested there softly. You were nearly dizzy with nerves, and while the kiss barely lasted a few seconds, it was more than enough to leave your world spinning around you, threatening to barrel itself out of focus. Your legs felt a bit like jelly, and you struggled to catch your breath afterwards. It was like you’d short-circuited, and your entire body was malfunctioning.

But you’d done it. After months of waiting, you’d finally been honest.

A small giggle escaped your lips and you pulled both of your hands away from Saeran to cover your mouth, as if to block the noise out, but Saeran didn’t react to it. His face was a deep pink, eyes slightly unfocused, as if he’d just been knocked upside the head. But when he came back to and looked at you, it was clear to you that his world was spinning, too.

Saeran was still here. He hadn’t disappeared. And the sound of the plants rustling in the wind told you that you were still here too, and that this had really happened.

Your hands lowered again, and you clasped them in front of you like you had earlier.

“Thank you,” you finally spoke, “for letting me do that.”

You couldn’t quite read Saeran, as usual, but you could tell that he was flustered. He seemed to finally pull himself together a bit more, stuffing his hands inside of his pockets, and his eyes darted back towards the plants.

“Sure.”

He was happy. You could tell. And it was that realization that allowed you to descend into a comfortable silence once more. Your stomach was still buzzing, heart still thumping, but the warmth of your face combated the slight chill that was beginning to settle in the air. 

The garden around you was peaceful, and so were you.

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a set of headcanons but... I can't not write so much for SE Saeran, especially when it's such a cute prompt. I- ;; 
> 
> Gardening club with Saeran? Yes please. Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed! :)
> 
> (this was originally posted to my Tumblr @ilupant)


End file.
